Only Time Will Heal Wounds…

Happy Tuesday,

Only Time Will Heal Wounds.  This statement is very powerful. I recently experienced a situation where I put my trust in someone and it backfired.  Instead of sinking into quicksand and letting it get the best of me, I decided that I needed to realize why this happened and learn from it.  At times, we all want to put our trust in others but just like love, trust is earned and you have to be cautious of who you “will it” too.  There are so many ways that I could have handled this situation, but every scenario that I could think of showed me that I would be giving away a little of Carla and I didn’t like that.  Therefore, I prayed and meditated about it and told myself to let the pain go and move on.  I started doing things to fill the void like exercising and reading my novels to remove the negativity.  My only bad flaw was that I allowed myself to eat what I wanted for ONE week ONLY as my comfort.  After that, I went back to healthier choices.

I know it’s not as easy for some of you out there when you do lose a job or have a bad breakup.   You can’t over obsess and think about the “what if’s” or “what could I have done differently” because the outcome was already set.  Life is a long journey of making mistakes and discovering new things about yourself.  Just think, if you didn’t lose that job or have that breakup, you would still be in the same state of mind. If it ever happens again, you will already know how to move forward and find something or someone better.  Lean on your friends and family for comfort and support to get through the hard times.  If you feel as if they don’t understand and you want a different perspective, just remember that I am here if you need me.

Carla Marie, MA, LPC

We can’t heal because we keep picking at old scars…

How many of you believe that this statement is true in regards to picking at old scars in relationships, friendships, choices at work, etc. If you feel that you keep “picking at old scars” it’s time to stop, rub some peroxide on it and place a band-aid over the wound so that it will begin to heal. The only way for scars to heal is to let them heal on its own and stop going back. If you keep taking off the bandage to check on it, you will never be able to move one. Once it forms a scar, you can look at it to make sure that you do not repeat the same mistakes.

I know its hard because something always reminds us of that person; the way someone laughed, dinner at a particular restaurant, a scarf, even a crack in the pavement. LOL. We can remember the good times, but also remember what forced you to make the hard decision to leave and put yourself first.

In your daily life, you have to set concrete goals for yourself. We are only granted one life on this earth and every day you wake up, make sure that you take care of yourself first and then the rest of the world (if you choose :-)). Just make sure that it’s what YOU want. Often times, we can be selfless people and spend an entire day looking after others and forget about ourselves. I am here to remind you that YOU matter. Even if its just having a cup of coffee and meditating for 5 minutes during the day, do it for YOU. Remember, you are stronger than what you think and if you need help remembering it, I am here for you. Have a prosperous week.

Carla Marie

My Daily Note: Be Happy with Yourself First…

In life, everyone deserves a chance to right their wrongs.  However, you have to be honest with yourself and the person you are involved in.  A lot of people are searching for “the right one” and are not taking time to invest in the actual “relationship”.  Back in the days, they used to call it “courting”.  This allowed each person to explore each others “GBU’s” , which are the good, bad and ugly’s and determine what they were willing to invest in.  Nowadays, people are too quick to run down the aisle and they are actually failing themselves.  Are you really “in love” with the person or “in love” with the idea of being someone’s wife or husband?  

In society, many people are questioning the right age to get married and have children.  The answer to that is that there is no right age anymore.  Society has changed and you do it when YOU are READY.  Often times, we have people in our “circle of friends” who are subconsciously telling you that it’s time and “don’t wait too long”.  Before you can be someone’s wife or husband, you have to be right with yourself first.  If you don’t know who you are, you will get lost along the way or there will always be unresolved issues. 

If you are single right now, take this opportunity to put yourself first and accomplish the goals that you set for yourself.  Invest in you in all areas (mind, body and soul).  No one in life really wants to be alone, but sometimes you need this to discover who you are and what you are worth.  Please don’t settle just to have a ring on your finger and say “my husband” or “my wife” and don’t know the first thing about what it takes to have a successful marriage.  The worst thing to do is to start off as friends and end up enemies.

Carla Marie’s advice for today:

  1. Invest in yourself (eat right, exercise, take risks, love yourself in all ways)
  2. Live out your life’s purpose (everyone was put on this earth for a reason, find out what makes you happy)
  3. Love will come when you least expect it, so stop searching
  4. Put yourself out there because if you are just always sitting at home and complaining, no one is going to find you and see how great you are.

This is my advice for the week.  Remember,if you need me, I am just a phone call away.

Carla Marie

Each day set goals for yourself and vocalize what you are thankful for…

Although life gets hectic at times, we have to remember to take care of ourselves first.  If we don’t,  no one else will.  Each day you wake up, you should recite three things that you will accomplish today for  YOURSELF and three things you are thankful for.  My mother always told me that most people start on a million things each day, but only accomplish three.  I’ll go ahead and share my three’s for you:

I am thankful for:

1.Being able to wake up this morning and focus on a career that I enjoy, which is helping people.

2. Today because I am able to correct any mistakes that I made yesterday and start all over.

3.  I am thankful that I have the ability to accept change and not hold any grudges.

Today I will accomplish the following:

  1. Set my calendar for the week to ensure that I meet my goals…
  2. Meal plan and prep for the rest of the week (I was tired yesterday :-))
  3. Read at least 10 pages of the book that I am currently reading…

Take care of yourself and if you need me, I am here.

Carla

Don’t isolate yourself from the world because of the past…

Happy Monday Everyone,

This morning as I was taking time for myself, the words human communication came to my mind.  I was talking to one of my younger clients and they told me that “they don’t need anyone” and they are fine “just being alone”.  I let him express himself and give me all the reasons why.  They were the normal responses which consisted of no one being there for him during hard times and he always had to figure things out for himself.  I understand that, but I informed him that life is much easier if you had friends and relationships to carry you along your journey.

Whoever is reading this, you may have experienced a time where no one was there for you because you had to go through it by yourself to be able to share it with others.  I know that may sound crazy, but sometimes we just have to accept it and see how we can grow from it.  Please don’t isolate yourself from the world because of past situations.  The world is full of great and inspiring people ready to connect with you.

Remember, if you need a starting point, I’m here for you…

Have a great week!

Carla

Don’t hold in your feelings, it is more harmful that helpful…

Happy Monday everyone. I woke up this morning doubting some choices that I have made in my life and it really weighed heavily on my heart.  At times, we get “clouded” with our decisions and we hold things in.  However, this creates an avoidance of the issue and promotes stress on our bodies.  My advice…GET IT OUT! Talk it over with a friend or a counselor so that you can accept it and move forward.  Fortunately, I was able to call my best friend this morning and talk it out.  I feel much better and now I am moving forward with my day.  I want you to do the same and if you don’t have that someone…I am here for you…

Carla